Lives in Manchester, works in Animation, debut novel, bla, bla, blaaaaaaa…
What you should know about Tom.
Tom, like many of the characters he writes, is a loser.
He has absolutely no qualifications as an author whatsoever (obvious, if you read his book).
And yes, his cheeks really are as chubby as they look in his stupid little poncey photo.
There are elements of his life that sound cool, like he worked on the ‘Fantastic Mr Fox’ film and Tim Burton’s upcoming ‘Frankenweenie’. But the unfortunate truth is that he was a very small and unimportant cog in a very big machine. In fact he wasn’t even that. He was a speck of fluff on a cog, fumbling around, asking questions like ‘Is that OK? Did I do it right?’, and ‘Can I go for a wee?’ whilst simultaneously getting in the way of the other little cogs, pissing them off and generally slowing the whole thing down.
If it had been Tom’s childhood ambition to grow up to be ‘a little bit crap really’, he would be one of the worlds greatest success stories. But unfortunately, when Tom was little he wanted to be an opera singer.
Yes, as I said – Tom is a loser. And it is this redeeming quality that makes his blog so appealing. Like the horribly disfigured Albanian orphan who, against all odds, learned to eat peas with his toes, Tom’s story is one of inspiration to us all. Because if he can write a novel and get it published, then the potential for the rest of humanity is truly limitless.