Tom Clempson

Wonderful post, Tom. So very few people seem to take mental illness seriously. There’s a complete disregard for the every day battles people with mental illness have to fight when they’re alive, and then disdain when it becomes too much for some and they take their lives because of the help they didn’t get. If we were all willing to understand and learn more about mental illness, so many lives could be saved.

It’s unbelievable to me that those people could tweet things like that and not think about what that poor man must have been going through that eventually led to this. It’s terribly sad.

note that he had bipolar disorder, not just depression.

Stupid people who comment it’s his own fault. Get your head out of your ass. Depression is a very serious illness. I have seen first hand what it does. So grow up people. Everyone’s life is not as perfect as yours

Some people don’t understand depression and there are plenty who are quick to judge suicide but I personally feel angry at him. Angry for him not fighting on, that is the difference between cancer and depression, you have a choice to fight on you have hope cancer does not give you that option so please do not compare them . I’m angry because when a man so loved and admired, with so much resources to help himself, can give up on the fight of depression then what hope is left for us who have no support, no love, no resources. I’m angry and yes it’s not my right to be but his family will feel so hurt that he didn’t fight. There have been so many times I felt the same I wanted it all to end but I couldn’t because of the people who care about me, he had millions more who cared about him. Yes depression needs to be handed better there needs to be more support and education but ultimately he had enough money for counselling for help he had a family who I’m sure supported him. I feel that he must have completely lost his way and feel bad for him that he felt that desperate to do this but ultimately it is a choice. So my sympathy goes to his family and to all those that care for him and most importantly I want people who suffer to know that depression is a battle but one you must fight til the end. Do not give up do not leave your family and friends hurt. You can change things and yes you may relapse and days may get harder again but you also have better days ahead maybe they will only be a few maybe they will be a life times worth but each one is worth fighting for. Fight it not just for your friends and family but most importantly for yourself.
RIP Robin Williams I have absolute admiration for your work and the years you fought on but I’m angry for your choice of how to end it all.

Very insightful.

The evil talk comes from people who have been very blessed not to have ever battled such a black hole that can consume a life!!! We still need to educate people on the grips and strong hold that depression can have on just not the person but a whole family!!! It can tear apart the core of a family…by just one person in a family being depressed!!! It is truly a battle that is fought on a daily bases with great courage and strength, the Lord, great family and wonderful doctors!!! May this funny man who made many of us laugh rest in peace finally!!! Prayers for his family!!!

Thank you so much for your thoughtful piece. I’ve had a few encounters with people who were suicidal; one person didn’t take his life and another person did. It’s heartbreaking to know that someone is suffering so immensely that they believe their only solution to ending that suffering is to take their own life. Thank you for speaking out on behalf of people with depression.

Doing drugs and dying is a choice…. Depression and committing suicide is not the same thing….

This writer is absolutley correct. Depression is the cause of death. It’s almost beat me into doing it a few times, but I sought help and I’m alive today for doing so….still struggling with it, but alive. And I’m here because I say I’m here….no one else.

As for people who think suicide is a selfish act…..go f**k yourselves. If I choose to die, it’s my life and in the end I’m responsible for no one but myself. This society we live in has everyone “addicted” to this so called life. People say well how can Mr. Williams kill himself when he had so much? Well it’s easy, he kicked the habit. The world today is a complete lie. Touting money and fame and a non existent god as a way to be happy when in reality they leave you with nothing but false friends and an empty heart. If people were praised and rewarded for the person they are, not for what they have or earn then they might have a chance to see that life isn’t about keeping up with the jones’. And when it’s time to move on to the next life it isn’t a doctor, or priest or politician that gets to decide when I do so…..It’s me!!

After all, to our governements, corporations and religions we are nothing more than tax payers, consumers and tithers. No more, no less. Why do you think suicide is illegal, or goes against god? Because with out asses in the seats the rich would be out in the streets. They thrive because of the “life addiction” and fear mongering that’s pushed down our throats every single day. Maybe the ones who want out aren’t the crazy ones….maybe it’s the ones who fight like mad to stay.

I’m not saying suicide is the answer, but my life is my own…life will go on after I’m gone and it’s the responsibilty of each and every person left behind to live their own life, their way and learn to cope. Death happens, get used to it. More people have died in the past than are currently alive today, so maybe you gotta think it isn’t that big a deal? Life is eternal, we will live again…here or somewhere else. Just be happy that our loved ones get to move on and try again to find happiness. They’ll be just fine. =)

Yes, there is anger at the “choice” of no longer being able to fight. I get that. I am angry and hurt and sad and frustrated with the people whom I have loved who have made this “choice” and that includes Robin Williams. The truth is that for those who made this “choice” there didn’t seem to be any hope, any choice. The pain was overwhelming.

The truth is that for over 60 years Robin Williams made the choice to fight his disease, to move forward to the best of his ability. A day came when his ability to keep on fighting was no longer enough and like with an embolism the end arrived. Truthfully, most people who get cancer don’t have to battle it day in and day out for their entire adult lives and if they did, they too might make a “choice” to end the fight.

My father made that choice when he decided no heroic measures were to be taken once the cancer came back and the pain and the sickness that went with the fighting of the disease. Some might call that choice suicide. I don’t.

I don’t know what Robin William’s burdens were any more than I know the burdens of PTSD or depression or bipolar disorder or any other number of diseases. I want there to be easy answers, but there aren’t any easy answers. I do know that leaping to judgment, lashing out in our anger, railing against the “failure” of someone else will change nothing. We need to invest in mental health research. We need to have more in our arsenals when dealing with mental illnesses and yes, addictions are part and parcel of the mental health spectrum. No one chooses to be an addict and most people who use and abuse drugs do so as a form of self-medication because of their own mental health issues.

“Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.”

John Donne from Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, “Meditation XVII

While anger is a necessary step in the healing process, you are not privileged enough to be mad at him. I am presuming you did not know him; sit with him at lunch, work with him on set, or spend time in his home. Moving forward with that presumption, you are more than justified to be mad at depression, mad at the lack of support and understanding for the condition, mad at the lack of resources for those living with depression, mad at your own ignorance, and mad at the misplaced and self righteous judgement of others who are as closely related to this situation as you and I. But you do not get to be mad at him. That’s like being mad at a person with inoperable cancer who takes their own life. Frankly, it isn’t your burden to bear. Have you ever been in a fight? Or seen one in real life or on t.v.? Imagine having that fight, day in and day out, with yourself. After all the meds and therapy and alcohol and drugs and rehab haven’t stopped the fight, there comes a point when the person doesn’t want to fight anymore. And after having all those other interventions fail, there often seems to be I only one feasible remaining option. Nobody can fight forever. Maybe his magnificent talent was a facade to help him cope with the depression that came on with the same level of intensity as we experience watching him on screen. Some of his greatest roles were the ones who paralleled what he must have been living offscreen. It’s a hell of a lot of responsibility to bear the fame and celebrity that he did while trying to maintain balanced relationships with his children, his wives, and himself. Clearly self care is what was sacrificed and it was sacrificed for people like you who now feel entitled to be angry at him for stopping his fight. You should be ashamed.

It saddens me to see such negative comments about Mr Williams… Depression is a serious illness as I suffer from it as well…its a battle within yourself to try and shut the door to it…Mr Williams did what he did cause the depression took over his right state of mind ….people who do not understand the illness is always quick to judge and but others down …
Mr Williams was a great actor and he was loved by many …he will be greatly missed but never forgotten..

Wow! As someone who suffered from severe, life-altering depression that took me to the brink and back several times, I have to say that I find this article to be extremely DANGEROUS. Even IRRESPONSIBLE. Depression is an illness, but suicide is a choice. To say that someone’s choice is taken away by this illness could lead many people to give up the fight like Williams did. I thought about making that choice many times. I dreamed about filling a bathtub with my own blood or wrapping my car around a tree again and again, but I didn’t. Despite the fact that I no longer wanted to live, I still chose to live. I chose to believe that what I was feeling in those dark nights of the soul would not last forever. I chose to believe that I could be better. I chose to believe that life, even in its most excruciating form, is precious. I didn’t feel that any of those beliefs were true at my lowest moments, but I chose to believe them anyway. I can only imagine what I might have chosen in one of those desperately weak places if I had read an article like this!

People who have cancer or heart disease or liver failure can choose to give up, or they can choose to fight. They can choose to live. People with depression can choose to live as well. I hate that Robin Williams is dead. I hate that he made that choice. But as someone who has fought and won the battle against this insidious disease, I will tell every other person suffering from depression to FIGHT and to LIVE. I will give them hope. I will not paint them as the victim of their blasted genetics. I will tell them how God saved me. I will tell them how I have been medication free (for 7 years,) fulfilled and happy after 17 years on SSRI’s that doctors said I would have to take for the rest of my life. I will tell them that suicide is not the inevitable end to the illness of depression. I will tell them to choose life!

As the father of a son who lost his struggle with depression and died by suicide, I very much appreciate your comments. I think you would advance your argument if you, and everyone, irradicated the phrase “committed suicide” from our language. My son died by suicide. He did not commit suicide. People “commit murder”, “commit robbery” or commit any number of other crimes. Suicide is not a crime and my son was not a criminal.

I’m not sure if this blog post is serious or not. This has ‘victim mentality’ written all over it, makes me sick just reading it. Describing “depression” as an illness is laughable. It excuses the person from any and all responsibility. Depression is a state of mind. Change your mind, change your experience of the world. This was written about nearly 100 years ago in a small book called “As a Man Thinketh”, and the concept is rehashed in nearly every self help book today. Man the fuck up, and get over your shit. Yes its hard. And yes you should do it rather than kill yourself.

I never my son died FROM suicide … I say he died BY suicide… Small changes in the word gives a different outlook on the situation. and yes DEPRESSION WAS THE CAUSE!

I disagree with your opinion, I mean I know how it is to suffer from depression, I had it the most time of my life, you can do a lot to fight it!
There are 12 aspects in life that, if not addressed, will lead you to depression, food is one of them. You are absolutely right about the carbs. But it doesn’t stop there. I’ve also been suicidal and had to be treated for it. We don’t know the source of Robin’s depression. Only he would be able to tell us. For us to be happy our life needs to be balanced: health, physical activity, relationships, spirituality, social life, creativity, finances, career, education, home environment, joy. When those categories in our lives are out balance our bodies get hurt through either depression and/or some type of sickness or disease.
We shouldn’t assume anything especially since Robin Williams isn’t here anymore to say his word.

Watch this when you wanna know more: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l75pKbXxcTM&list=UULwUd5KtYONsRJ3UAOojZ0w

Anyone who says that it was the person fault then they have no understanding of the disease. I used to think it was the easy way out until the disease became part of my life. People who don’t understand are ignorant and should not make judgement on something they know nothing about.

Hey kim- you’re a moron.

To those that suggested I’m ignorant in my earlier post I suggest you understand the implications of the act of suicide. Did you know if you commit suicide the chance of your children committing suicide goes up?! Do you know how many people will think it’s ok to do it now that so many people have sympathy for Robin Williams. My sympathy is there that he felt so desperate that he suffered but it can’t be there for the act of suicide itself because I wouldn’t want another person to feel it’s ok to give up on the fight. It is an exhausting, heart destroying fight but you just have to keep fighting. I’m angry at anyone that commits suicide and not specifically at mr Williams. I do wonder how many would have sympathy if it wasn’t Robin Williams?! What would you be saying if it was the likes of Paris Hilton or a footballer. Depression is a disease that can be cured.
Now that it’s come out that he had Parkinson’s I certainly do have more sympathy as my thoughts on euthanasia are a bit all over the place and I completely understand why you would want to die when your standard of life is going to change and it’s beyond your control. I also think there are many out there who clearly do have this and fight on micheal j fox being one of them and he deserves some credit for going on. I just hope that post like this do not give people the permission they are looking for to end it all because yes the thought ‘ well if he did it and people feel sorry for him then why shouldn’t I’ does happen and that is simply all I’m hoping to contradict is that one thought. Everyone does have the right to do with their life (yet how many drug users are criticised. Anyway different matter) as they please but please consider the implications of your actions especially if you have children and a partner. Please don’t let people think suicide is a reasonable reaction to depression.

your wife is filled with wisdom & empathy-possibly the best qualities in a partner

This is such a tragedy. People seem to be defining and judging the actions of others with all we have, words. Our family just buried my 57 year old sister who, over the past few years, suffered deep deppresion and torment. The final cause of death is still not in and I’m not sure it matters in the end. I rarely speak of this topic because, by it’s very nature is controversial. I believe we’re talking about two different things here, cause and effect and we do need to make a distinction in your article. Your comparison to cancer where you write “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism.” The “actual cause” of death was pulmonary embolism brought on by cancer. In Mr. Williams case, the “actual cause” of death was suicide brought on by deppresion. Your comparison is very misleading and not very sound. Again, I want to say that this is a very tragic and misunderstood area. In the case of the embolism, there was no control or “choice.” In the case of suicide, the final act is regardless of our own feelings or experiences. The sufferer may not be in a state to be rational or is suffering too much to go on. I don’t believe any rational person believes that depression is a moral or “strong verses weak” illness. It is just this, a very real, tragic and, if not acknowledged and treated, fatal illness. If suicide was not a choice, people would be found dead all the time as in embolisms, heart attacks and strokes. It’s time we look closer at our own lives and our families, stop judging sufferers of any kind and lift people up in their own value. I have not walked in Mr. William’s shoes, nor can I see through anyone elses eyes.

Depressions is very hard to understand if you haven’t been there. My husband suffered from it and anxiety. It got toe point where he hardly left our bedroom. It was very hard to see him like that. Two years later and he still has bouts of anxiety but is functioning and involved. I never understood how he felt and honestly didn’t know HOW to help him! Its one of those things people need to learn how to help people through.

speaking as some one who not only was depressed but got over it on his own with out trying to kill him self i can only say that suicide is not some unavoidable symptom of depression, it is in fact a choice.

and my stance on it is the same no matter who it is, “if you are to weak to continue in this life, not matter the hardships, then you are to weak to be a member of this species, and as such our collective gene pool will likely be better off with out you.”

I have and always will be a fan of Robin, and my heart felt condolences to all those left with the burden of trying to move on.

Some interesting points, however, saying committing suicide is still insensitive and ruined the integrity of the article. Died by suicide would be a better way to phrase it.

Very good analogy of cancer and depression. Suicide also has a negative connotation because we say the person ‘committed’ suicide. It implies that the person’s death was a crime and they should be punished for it. We need to remove these negative stigmas and focus on helping people who are suffering.

Hi Tom, you make an important point about not criticising and stigmatising people with depression and those who attempt or commit suicide. I think it’s important to point out that there is a big difference between: depression is a significant contributing to suicidal ideation and behaviour; depression ‘causing’ suicide, suicide being a ‘symptom’ of depression, and people ‘dying of depression’. The first statement is the only one of the four that can be supported in fact. And this is not just a minor semantic difference. If you have a look at how Psychologists and mental health workers talk to sufferers about suicide and how they advise friends and family to talk about suicide, I doubt very much that the latter three statements would feature (I’ve not seen it). Also, please keep in mind that the vast majority of people with depression do not commit or attempt to commit suicide and many do not have more than fleeting suicidal thoughts. Addiction is also a very strong factor – over 50% of suicides are associated with drugs and alcohol. Gambling addiction also relates very highly to suicide. Yes – addiction and depression can be chicken / egg – you can see that we need to take care of over-simplifying things in a way that clouds this complexity. Creating additional anxiety and stigma for sufferers and loved ones would very likely be the consequence if we do what you advocate that we should do. Perhaps there’s an advantage to your position that I’m not seeing or there is evidence I’m not aware of and I’d be very happy to be corrected.

Although I do respect people profoundly, I have met many people that deemed themselves depressed. A number of trauma’s and events may cause them to believe so, but is it not only the constant belief of anxiety and heart ache that causes one to become depressed in the first place? Is it not only a state of mind? A person that needs to be helped and loved?

We must not forget that Robin Williams played the part of Dr Sayer in the “eveil”( the wake..?), in a psychiatric hospital where he probably learnt too much about the Parkinson desease. One can understand , when you know the effects of this degenerative frightening desease (a member of my family has got it) that for a depressive mind it can just be unbearable. ” When reality overtakes fiction… I’m sure you’re in Heaven Robin and I hope your family will understand what you suffered and the despair you were in to put an end to it.Wherever you are Robin, you’re still with us.

I LOVE ROBIN WILLIAMS A WHOLE BUNCH BECAUSE HE IS MY FAVORITE MAN AND HE MIGHT LIKE IT IF I CALLED HIM BABE AND I FEEL LIKE I COULD JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS AND HE IS MY COOL AND HANDSOME LOOKING GUY AND I GIVE HIM LOTS OF LOVES AND HUGS AND KISSES AND IM ALWAYS NICE TO HIM AND I TAKE HIM EVERYWHERE I GO AND I MAKE THEM NOISES AT HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM OR IF I WANT TO FALL ASLEEP ON HIM AND IF HE HAD A VERY BAD SORE THROAT WHEN HE WAS SICK THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE AND ITS VERY VERY VERY VERY SAD THAT HE DIED BECAUSE HE WAS A FANTASTIC ACTOR BUT HES STILL WITH US BECAUSE I GOT HIS PICTURES IN MY BOOKS AND I LOVE HIS MOVIES AND HIS INTERVIEWS AND HIS SHOWS BECAUSE THEY ARE FANTASTIC AND I LOVE THOSE SILLY VOICES THAT HE DOES THEY MAKE ME WONNA LAUGH SO HARD BECAUSE THEY SOUND FANTASTIC AND EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THOSE SILLY VOICES THAT HE DOES THEY MAKE ME WONNA CRACK UP SO HARD AND IF I PUT ON SOME MUSIC HE WILL GO CRAZY AND DO A SILLY DANCE AND ID BE LAUGHING SO HARD AT HIM AND NO MATTER WHERE HE IS AT HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME IM SURE AND I BET HE IS WATCHING ME FROM THE SKY CHECKING TO SEE IF IM OKAY AND I AM OKAY BUT I GET SAD WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIM AND HE IS PATTING ME ON THE HEAD AND I BET NOTHING TASTE GOOD WHEN YOU HAVE A VERY BAD SORE THROAT AND I LOVE HIM ON HIS INTERVIEWS BECAUSE THEY ARE FANTASTIC AND HE WAS A FANTASTIC ACTOR AND COMEDIAN AND IM LAUGHING ABOUT THOSE SILLY VOICES THAT HE DOES CAUSE HE MAKES EVERYBODY LAUGH JUST LIKE HE MAKES ME LAUGH ON HIS INTERVIEWS AND IF I WATCH HIS MOVIES AND I THINK ABOUT HIM MAKES ME FEEL SAD CAUSE HE DIED MONICA GERBER

One might think i have everything but im always sad.
I’ve never been thru 24 hrs without imagining a way of killing myself, since i was exactly 8 years. And doesn’t matter how much i tried to share it, it’s always some silly joke or, as they say, a desire of being noticed.
Every night, on an obvious and extremely boring world, i die for being there and every morning i am revived as an empty shell, outrageous to be alive.
Ive heard somewhere that Robin’s been hiding it for years, that only close friends knew about his condition. Same i heard about Heath Ledger.
The real stupid thing is…to say “it was his own fault” no one knows the exquisite pain of living while trying to convince yourself, you do have a good reason to. It’s a long intoxicating road in wich you might at anytime lose youself.