Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he had died, and when I asked her what he died from she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about.
When people die from cancer their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism”, the answer is always “cancer”. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she very wisely replied “Depression”.
The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide…
@TateLovett thank u for being right. I love robin Williams but I think the way he died was his own stupidity. It’s sad but his own fault. — Kara Seymour (@kara_michelle01) August 12, 2014
Idk why everyone is so sympathetic towards Robin Williams. Yea he was a good actor and all but the dude killed himself. His own damn fault — Darnell (@Thathigga) August 12, 2014
Robin Williams dieing is sad but it was his choice What about the 1000′s of children dieing in Palestine that dont want to die thats sad too — TerryCrosbie (@Terry_Crosbie) August 12, 2014
But, just as a Pulmonary Embolism is a fatal symptom of cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of Depression. Depression is an illness, not a choice of lifestyle. You can’t just “cheer up” with depression, just as you can’t choose not to have cancer. When someone commits suicide as a result of Depression they die from Depression – an illness that kills millions each year. It is hard to know exactly how many people actually die from Depression each year because the figures and statistics only seem to show how many people die from “suicide” each year (and you don’t necessarily have to suffer Depression to commit suicide, it’s usually just implied). But considering that one person commits suicide every 14 minutes in the US alone, we clearly need to do more to battle this illness, and the stigma that continues to surround it. Perhaps Depression might lose some its “it’s their own fault” stigma, if we start focussing on the illness, rather than the symptom. Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. He died from Depression*. It wasn’t his choice to suffer that. 
*Please note that, at this point in time, the cause of Robin Williams’s death is officially a “suspected suicide” and no official cause of death has been published yet.
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Wonderful post, Tom. So very few people seem to take mental illness seriously. There’s a complete disregard for the every day battles people with mental illness have to fight when they’re alive, and then disdain when it becomes too much for some and they take their lives because of the help they didn’t get. If we were all willing to understand and learn more about mental illness, so many lives could be saved.
It’s unbelievable to me that those people could tweet things like that and not think about what that poor man must have been going through that eventually led to this. It’s terribly sad.
I read this with tears in my eyes. I too suffer from depression. I always thought people who suffered were just weak souls. How very wrong I was. Until you go through it, or know someone who has this illness, people will never understand it.
Yes, talking helps. Yes, crying until you have no more tears in your eyes help. Yes, family and friends help. But when you are alone, you think. I have to stay strong for my two wonderful children, but it’s hard.
For all those out there suffering from this illness, stay strong, talk & cry. And those of you who know someone who suffers, give them a hug x
note that he had bipolar disorder, not just depression.
that being said, your article is on point.
at least he is no longer suffering. he is at peace.
Stupid people who comment it’s his own fault. Get your head out of your ass. Depression is a very serious illness. I have seen first hand what it does. So grow up people. Everyone’s life is not as perfect as yours
Nobody ever dies ‘from’ something, they die ‘of’ something. So he died OF depression, not FROM.
Some people don’t understand depression and there are plenty who are quick to judge suicide but I personally feel angry at him. Angry for him not fighting on, that is the difference between cancer and depression, you have a choice to fight on you have hope cancer does not give you that option so please do not compare them . I’m angry because when a man so loved and admired, with so much resources to help himself, can give up on the fight of depression then what hope is left for us who have no support, no love, no resources. I’m angry and yes it’s not my right to be but his family will feel so hurt that he didn’t fight. There have been so many times I felt the same I wanted it all to end but I couldn’t because of the people who care about me, he had millions more who cared about him. Yes depression needs to be handed better there needs to be more support and education but ultimately he had enough money for counselling for help he had a family who I’m sure supported him. I feel that he must have completely lost his way and feel bad for him that he felt that desperate to do this but ultimately it is a choice. So my sympathy goes to his family and to all those that care for him and most importantly I want people who suffer to know that depression is a battle but one you must fight til the end. Do not give up do not leave your family and friends hurt. You can change things and yes you may relapse and days may get harder again but you also have better days ahead maybe they will only be a few maybe they will be a life times worth but each one is worth fighting for. Fight it not just for your friends and family but most importantly for yourself.
RIP Robin Williams I have absolute admiration for your work and the years you fought on but I’m angry for your choice of how to end it all.
Although I agree with the sentiments in this post, Tom – you have one thing very, very wrong. Suicide IS a choice. It is a very strong, irreversible choice. It has never been the same, nor will it ever be the same as someone dying from pneumonia or pulmonary embolism. Setting the record straight, anyone that does commit suicide has made that choice, for their own personal reasons, to end their physical life. Passing away from a brain aneurysm is not anywhere close to a choice.
It was NOT his choice to suffer from depression. It WAS his choice to end it.
I struggle with PTSD and depression every day of my life. It affects every aspect of what I do. Suicide has definitely been at the forefront for me at one point in time. However, I made the choice to seek help.
Rather than glorifying death, as you seem to be doing in this post, let’s do more to reach out to those that are struggling. Depression is a terrible illness that can back a person so far into a corner that they feel they have no way out, but the truth is, they do. I do. Everyone does. It’s different for each person, but while they’re still alive, there’s still a chance to help that person out of their darkness.
Stress can have extreme negative effects on the body. People CAN die from depression, and the medical conditions that are caused by the stress. However, suicide is not one of those things. IT IS ALWAYS A CHOICE.
Very insightful.
It is so sad he made so many people laugh and got lost in his own life.
The evil talk comes from people who have been very blessed not to have ever battled such a black hole that can consume a life!!! We still need to educate people on the grips and strong hold that depression can have on just not the person but a whole family!!! It can tear apart the core of a family…by just one person in a family being depressed!!! It is truly a battle that is fought on a daily bases with great courage and strength, the Lord, great family and wonderful doctors!!! May this funny man who made many of us laugh rest in peace finally!!! Prayers for his family!!!
Who commits suicide and is not depressed though?
Should we get rid of the word suicide?
I have complete and utter respect for Robin Williams.
I dont see how sugarcoating anything helps his family.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful piece. I’ve had a few encounters with people who were suicidal; one person didn’t take his life and another person did. It’s heartbreaking to know that someone is suffering so immensely that they believe their only solution to ending that suffering is to take their own life. Thank you for speaking out on behalf of people with depression.
I feel it is unfortunate that so many people choose to express such a profound lack of empathy publicly. It is shameful and ignorant. I can only hope that they gain experience that will allow them to relate to others more deeply. Also, an education couldn’t hurt.
Doing drugs and dying is a choice…. Depression and committing suicide is not the same thing….
This writer is absolutley correct. Depression is the cause of death. It’s almost beat me into doing it a few times, but I sought help and I’m alive today for doing so….still struggling with it, but alive. And I’m here because I say I’m here….no one else.
As for people who think suicide is a selfish act…..go fuck yourselves. If I choose to die, it’s my life and in the end I’m responsible for no one but myself. This society we live in has everyone “addicted” to this so called life. People say well how can Mr. Williams kill himself when he had so much? Well it’s easy, he kicked the habit. The world today is a complete lie. Touting money and fame and a non existent god as a way to be happy when in reality they leave you with nothing but false friends and an empty heart. If people were praised and rewarded for the person they are, not for what they have or earn then they might have a chance to see that life isn’t about keeping up with the jones’. And when it’s time to move on to the next life it isn’t a doctor, or priest or politician that gets to decide when I do so…..It’s me!!
After all, to our governements, corporations and religions we are nothing more than tax payers, consumers and tithers. No more, no less. Why do you think suicide is illegal, or goes against god? Because with out asses in the seats the rich would be out in the streets. They thrive because of the “life addiction” and fear mongering that’s pushed down our throats every single day. Maybe the ones who want out aren’t the crazy ones….maybe it’s the ones who fight like mad to stay.
I’m not saying suicide is the answer, but my life is my own…life will go on after I’m gone and it’s the responsibilty of each and every person left behind to live their own life, their way and learn to cope. Death happens, get used to it. More people have died in the past than are currently alive today, so maybe you gotta think it isn’t that big a deal? Life is eternal, we will live again…here or somewhere else. Just be happy that our loved ones get to move on and try again to find happiness. They’ll be just fine. =)
This writer is absolutley correct. Depression is the cause of death. It’s almost beat me into doing it a few times, but I sought help and I’m alive today for doing so….still struggling with it, but alive. And I’m here because I say I’m here….no one else.
As for people who think suicide is a selfish act…..go f**k yourselves. If I choose to die, it’s my life and in the end I’m responsible for no one but myself. This society we live in has everyone “addicted” to this so called life. People say well how can Mr. Williams kill himself when he had so much? Well it’s easy, he kicked the habit. The world today is a complete lie. Touting money and fame and a non existent god as a way to be happy when in reality they leave you with nothing but false friends and an empty heart. If people were praised and rewarded for the person they are, not for what they have or earn then they might have a chance to see that life isn’t about keeping up with the jones’. And when it’s time to move on to the next life it isn’t a doctor, or priest or politician that gets to decide when I do so…..It’s me!!
After all, to our governements, corporations and religions we are nothing more than tax payers, consumers and tithers. No more, no less. Why do you think suicide is illegal, or goes against god? Because with out asses in the seats the rich would be out in the streets. They thrive because of the “life addiction” and fear mongering that’s pushed down our throats every single day. Maybe the ones who want out aren’t the crazy ones….maybe it’s the ones who fight like mad to stay.
I’m not saying suicide is the answer, but my life is my own…life will go on after I’m gone and it’s the responsibilty of each and every person left behind to live their own life, their way and learn to cope. Death happens, get used to it. More people have died in the past than are currently alive today, so maybe you gotta think it isn’t that big a deal? Life is eternal, we will live again…here or somewhere else. Just be happy that our loved ones get to move on and try again to find happiness. They’ll be just fine. =)
you never once in your “profound and insightful” message, did you mention the people that surround these people every day… the family, friends, spouses, and even yes, the creditors… I don’t spend much time with politicians and whoever else you mentioned.. I have known great people who thought they have the right when they didn’t.. a mother doesn’t understand that the choice was apparently theirs and neither do friends and spouses.. if I love you and respect you, the choice is not yours to take your life, but my depression could be your so called decision. so stop focusing on politicians and rich people.. focus on those that want your time and love.. they deserve this at the very least.. in my experience, when someone finds me to tell me they care for or love me, its too much effort for that to be just a Plooi… recognise and love.. now smile at someone that deserves it and even someone that doesn’t cause now in this manner, you have already in a small way started to help fight someone’s depression.
Gonna be a total nitpicker, in the first line it says “form” when I think it’s meant to say from
That is all.
This whole article is great though, very very well put!
xo
Great article and very true. as someone who suffers from bouts of depression I heartily agree. Suicide is a side effect of depression and at times feels like the overwhelming only choice to stop feeling the pain of living.
The truth is we are not taught how to deal with our emotions and so we try and bury them with food or drown them in alcohol or numb them with drugs.
Here’s a blog I wrote yesterday on how we sedate our emotions http://cgrace4wellbeing.blogsp.....08/14.html. Seems even more relevant today.
If as you say you understand depression then you must know that there are many types of depression. I find it hard to understand how anyone can say he should fight for his family and all the fans who care about him. Maybe with his life being so open to the public that his fight was hard to hide anymore. You assume that with all his money he could get the help he needed but depression is not like finding a mechanic to fix the motor of your car. There is no solid answer that works for everyone. For all we know Mr. Williams may of been under treatment from some of the top specialist in the world. I for one do not have that information in order to form a judgement on his illness. That is what it is an illness just as so many other people are fighting. But unfortunately so many their fight wasn’t enough to survive just as Mr. Williams lost his fight. PLEASE do not judge others as we are not walking in their shoes. I too am fighting depression and pray I never loose the fight but if I do it will not be from giving up or from not fighting hard enough for my family and friends. Turn your anger around and think what you can do for your family and friends who maybe struggling but are to ashamed to admit it or to look for help. Society needs to take the stigma off this illness and give it the respect it needs so all that are suffering know that it’s not “all in their heads” and that there is help out there. Let’s make some changes so we don’t have to wait till another Mr. Actor or Ms. Office Worker makes the news as a result of a lost battle with depression. RIP Mr Williams. May we learn from your struggle and grow in understanding
The suicide prevention community is encouraging the discontinuation of the the use of the term “committed suicide” as it is language that reflects the age-old misperception that suicide is a sin and a crime – things that are committed. Suicide is neither. It is the tragic outcome of an unimaginable internal struggle in which escape via death seems the only acceptable option. I encourage the author to change the language in this article to the less judgmental “died by suicide.”
Not only is the battle of depression difficult and still so misunderstood but those who suffer also have to deal with stupid and painful comments from people that have no idea what it is like. To say he was stupid or it was his own fault is not only ignorant but cold and insensitive. If you have never suffered from depression then you have no idea how desperate and painful it is. I hope none of you ever have to suffer from it and if you do, I sure hope no is so stupid as to ever tell you it is your own fault.
My thoughts and prayers to the family and may Robin now finally, rest in peace.
Actually, the correct cause of death would be something along the lines of asphyxiation. If he dropped from a high place, it could have been a broken neck. Since you want to get technical about it, I mean.
Hi, this article is a real eye opener for me. I have a dear friend and coworker who is a comedian. She is always joking and plays different roles in her comedy acts. Much like Robin Williams. I hope she isn’t suffering underneath. I will try to stay close with her and always be a friend.
A well written eye opening article. Thank you.
Just to read the comments of this two ignorant , makes me sad not even angry, Depression is a sickness not a choice . educate yourself before posting stupid comments fools
Dude I struggle with depression everyday, it fucking sucks and asshats saying “quit whining “can choke
Very well said!!
In reply to someones comment. The guilt trip is the worst thing you can do to some people with depression. I suffer from depression and my friends who do not understand how to approach me when I’m at my lowest tell me to think about my friends and family and how they’d feel if I quit fighting. For me that only made me feel worse because they didn’t try to understand me and made it about them. Sometimes all a person needs is someone to be there. Whether to talk, cry, or simply be nearby. Please don’t play the guilt card on someone with depression. That’s not helping.
[…] http://www.tomclempson.com/201.....m-suicide/ […]
With all due respect, Robin Williams died of suicide, not depression. Depression is obviously one of the reasons he DECIDED to take his own life, but it was not the cause of death. By using your own analogy, if someone gets the news that they have incurable cancer, goes home and kills themselves, the cause of death is suicide – not cancer.
As horrible as mental illness can be, let’s not sugarcoat things. He made a conscious decision to end his own life.
Actually, no, he didn’t make a conscious decision. Depression can be so powerful and hit so hard that all you feel is pain. Your world narrows to the walls around you, the couch your sitting on or the bed you are curled up in. And people who are Bipolar it can be worse then that. From being on top of the world and happy, to feeling like you are in the lowest pits of hell, all in the matter of a few minutes.
When you are sad, the decision you make are different then the one you make when you are happy. But Depression isn’t just feeling sad. It’s much worse then that. You wish you could only be sad. Instead it’s this soul sucking void of anguish that you are helpless to stop or even escape. It’s something you have to suffer through until either it begins to pass on its own, or something or one triggers something in you that helps you rise up again.
Think of it this way, when you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you do things you would never do if you were sober. Your decision making skills are negatively affected and things that seem like a good idea at the time, you beating yourself up over when your sober. People who don’t suffer from Depression don’t really understand this.. but that’s what it’s like. People who ‘decide’ to end their life while in the throws of a deep depression are not making a conscious decision.
Robin Williams was a man who loved life. Who knew that there is sadness, and then there is hope. That self fades and ego goes away. That what matters is other people. That there are a lot of amazing people out there. He loved his family and friends. His family, friends, and people all over the world loved him just as much. Depression killed him. It hit him so hard.. that he did something he never would have done at any other time. It was not his conscious choice.. and it’s not his fault, and he will be missed.
A voice of reason, Tom. Sadly we still live at a time when good mental health is seen as a choice, something you can acquire quite cheaply, and if you don’t do so, it’s your fault. As you say, suicide is the symptom, not the cause of death.
Tragic though Robin Williams’ death is, if it helps to widen the debate on mental health and by doing so, increase understanding and awareness, then something positive might come from it.
Yes, there is anger at the “choice” of no longer being able to fight. I get that. I am angry and hurt and sad and frustrated with the people whom I have loved who have made this “choice” and that includes Robin Williams. The truth is that for those who made this “choice” there didn’t seem to be any hope, any choice. The pain was overwhelming.
The truth is that for over 60 years Robin Williams made the choice to fight his disease, to move forward to the best of his ability. A day came when his ability to keep on fighting was no longer enough and like with an embolism the end arrived. Truthfully, most people who get cancer don’t have to battle it day in and day out for their entire adult lives and if they did, they too might make a “choice” to end the fight.
My father made that choice when he decided no heroic measures were to be taken once the cancer came back and the pain and the sickness that went with the fighting of the disease. Some might call that choice suicide. I don’t.
I don’t know what Robin William’s burdens were any more than I know the burdens of PTSD or depression or bipolar disorder or any other number of diseases. I want there to be easy answers, but there aren’t any easy answers. I do know that leaping to judgment, lashing out in our anger, railing against the “failure” of someone else will change nothing. We need to invest in mental health research. We need to have more in our arsenals when dealing with mental illnesses and yes, addictions are part and parcel of the mental health spectrum. No one chooses to be an addict and most people who use and abuse drugs do so as a form of self-medication because of their own mental health issues.
“Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.”
John Donne from Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, “Meditation XVII
No but it was his own choice to take his own life!
While anger is a necessary step in the healing process, you are not privileged enough to be mad at him. I am presuming you did not know him; sit with him at lunch, work with him on set, or spend time in his home. Moving forward with that presumption, you are more than justified to be mad at depression, mad at the lack of support and understanding for the condition, mad at the lack of resources for those living with depression, mad at your own ignorance, and mad at the misplaced and self righteous judgement of others who are as closely related to this situation as you and I. But you do not get to be mad at him. That’s like being mad at a person with inoperable cancer who takes their own life. Frankly, it isn’t your burden to bear. Have you ever been in a fight? Or seen one in real life or on t.v.? Imagine having that fight, day in and day out, with yourself. After all the meds and therapy and alcohol and drugs and rehab haven’t stopped the fight, there comes a point when the person doesn’t want to fight anymore. And after having all those other interventions fail, there often seems to be I only one feasible remaining option. Nobody can fight forever. Maybe his magnificent talent was a facade to help him cope with the depression that came on with the same level of intensity as we experience watching him on screen. Some of his greatest roles were the ones who paralleled what he must have been living offscreen. It’s a hell of a lot of responsibility to bear the fame and celebrity that he did while trying to maintain balanced relationships with his children, his wives, and himself. Clearly self care is what was sacrificed and it was sacrificed for people like you who now feel entitled to be angry at him for stopping his fight. You should be ashamed.
Thank you for posting this and I’m in disbelief when reading the above comments… Anyway, I guess the majority rules in some cases to an advantage
Wonderfully generous soul, Robin Williams made life better for millions of people. That is why we revere him and honour him – only he ho lived with his head in the sand would be oblivious to this reality.
Thank you again, Tom!
Check for yourself:
http://www.j-ouellette.com/rob.....ng-french/
It saddens me to see such negative comments about Mr Williams… Depression is a serious illness as I suffer from it as well…its a battle within yourself to try and shut the door to it…Mr Williams did what he did cause the depression took over his right state of mind ….people who do not understand the illness is always quick to judge and but others down …
Mr Williams was a great actor and he was loved by many …he will be greatly missed but never forgotten..
In light of my own work with the mental health field, I’m frankly a bit disappointed with this article. It does cast an important light on the fact that yes, depression IS a disease. But allow me to remind everyone of something.
So is cardiac disease (i.e.). Sometimes it is hereditary you get it regardless of your choices in life. People don’t necessarily choose to suffer from heart failure or a heart attack. On the other hand, some people can save themselves from those possibilities by proper diet and exercise. It doesn’t mean it won’t happen but they can work to lessen the dangerous outcome. If you want another example (or not) try alcoholism. It IS a disease. But would you consider the person who is an alcoholic, gets in a car, drives and hit a car filled with a family, responsible or not?
Disease is aptly named. And yes, Mr. Williams, who I have longed respected and admired, did suffer from a disease. But as with cardiac disease and countless other diseases, there are treatments available. And I agree with those who have pointed out in this post that suicide is a CHOICE. Suicide is not the disease. It is not an involuntary reaction brought about as a symptom of the disease. It is a choice to cope or to not cope.
Also allow me to remind everyone who are making judgments of another important fact. Most of the time the people who are considering suicide do not do so with the intent of actually doing the deed. Often it is a cry for help because they feel no one gets it.
For those of us who have never experienced true depression – there is no way we could get how it feels. For those who have not considered suicide – you don’t get it. But for anyone who claims that suicide is an involuntary choice that is a disease or a part of the disease is suffering from the same lack of accountability as those who think that 1) boys will be boys, 2) she had it coming, 3) and that rapists shouldn’t be held accountable because of how the girl dressed.
This author did have an important point though. Too many people have been lashing out at what happened. We don’t know what he experienced. But everyone talking about it just turns it into sensationalism. A decision was made. Some of us view it as the wrong decision, others feel for him. May he rest in peace and let his family have some measure of peace.
Wow! As someone who suffered from severe, life-altering depression that took me to the brink and back several times, I have to say that I find this article to be extremely DANGEROUS. Even IRRESPONSIBLE. Depression is an illness, but suicide is a choice. To say that someone’s choice is taken away by this illness could lead many people to give up the fight like Williams did. I thought about making that choice many times. I dreamed about filling a bathtub with my own blood or wrapping my car around a tree again and again, but I didn’t. Despite the fact that I no longer wanted to live, I still chose to live. I chose to believe that what I was feeling in those dark nights of the soul would not last forever. I chose to believe that I could be better. I chose to believe that life, even in its most excruciating form, is precious. I didn’t feel that any of those beliefs were true at my lowest moments, but I chose to believe them anyway. I can only imagine what I might have chosen in one of those desperately weak places if I had read an article like this!
People who have cancer or heart disease or liver failure can choose to give up, or they can choose to fight. They can choose to live. People with depression can choose to live as well. I hate that Robin Williams is dead. I hate that he made that choice. But as someone who has fought and won the battle against this insidious disease, I will tell every other person suffering from depression to FIGHT and to LIVE. I will give them hope. I will not paint them as the victim of their blasted genetics. I will tell them how God saved me. I will tell them how I have been medication free (for 7 years,) fulfilled and happy after 17 years on SSRI’s that doctors said I would have to take for the rest of my life. I will tell them that suicide is not the inevitable end to the illness of depression. I will tell them to choose life!
Thank-you.
As the father of a son who lost his struggle with depression and died by suicide, I very much appreciate your comments. I think you would advance your argument if you, and everyone, irradicated the phrase “committed suicide” from our language. My son died by suicide. He did not commit suicide. People “commit murder”, “commit robbery” or commit any number of other crimes. Suicide is not a crime and my son was not a criminal.
Well, for the most part, I do agree with your post. I myself have been battling depression, and will have to continue battling depression for the rest of my life. I’ve held knives to my own throat, and my body is covered with scars from self inflicted wounds. Yes some of them were desperate pleas out of loneliness, but many of them are criss crossed all down my back and many in places that were easy to hide. Those ones are the deepest, and they came from a place inside me that was incredibly dark. I can’t say that I’m recovered, because with depression there really is no such things. There’s only better days than yesterday. The part about this post that I disagree with is suicide being a fatal symptom of depression. I’m also not saying that suicide is an outcome. I’ve battled suicidal thoughts and tendencies for years. It wasn’t until March 8th of 2006 when a dear friend of mine called me in tears telling me the 3 different ways she had attempted/thought of suicide. She had drank a cleaner from under the sink (luckily she puked it up shortly after), she had cut her wrist with an old rusty knife from the barn (she was given a tetnus shot), and she had considered walking out onto her slowly sagging roof and jumping. My response was to write her a letter covered in my own blood. I almost killed myself that night. It freaked her out so badly that she had a break down in school after reading the letter, and we both got our mothers called and got pulled out of school for the day. She began seeing a counselor, and I was threatened with the psych ward. Ever since that day, we vowed to never cut again no matter what goes on in our lives. Sadly I have since fallen out of contact with her, but I have kept my promise to this day. I am an avid believer that suicide can be prevented if certain steps are taken to do so. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here today.
I’m not sure if this blog post is serious or not. This has ‘victim mentality’ written all over it, makes me sick just reading it. Describing “depression” as an illness is laughable. It excuses the person from any and all responsibility. Depression is a state of mind. Change your mind, change your experience of the world. This was written about nearly 100 years ago in a small book called “As a Man Thinketh”, and the concept is rehashed in nearly every self help book today. Man the fuck up, and get over your shit. Yes its hard. And yes you should do it rather than kill yourself.
To see a post like the one prior to my own post (from that “Mike” character) is almost sickening. To see those views from someone who supposedly works in the mental health field should truly be a red flag for all of us, and is indicative of the fact that we need better mental health awareness and treatment.
Depression is a disease, as with many diseases, death can be the result. To say that suicide is a choice made by someone would be like saying that “allowing” respiratory arrest or cardiac arrest in other physiologically ill patients would be a choice. It’s so easy to sit back and judge a person who is suffering from depression, but I can’t imagine how it truly feels to be pushed so far that death is the only window. It’s not a choice, it feels like there are no other options. Am I glorifying suicide or suggesting that all people who suffer from depression should “choose” to die? Absolutely not, if anyone reading this does suffer from depression, I would encourage you to seek help, and hope that it can get better, just like I would suggest that anyone with heart failure should also seek help in dealing with those problems. Mental illnesses need to be seen by society for what they truly are: illnesses. Just like heart failure is a physiological disease, depression is a psychological disease. I would not judge a person who has died from complications with heart disease, much like I would not judge a person who has died from complications with depression.
And to see it suggested that because I view death from complications of depression in the same light as death from complications of physiological disease, that some how I also endorse rape tells me that you truly are ignorant. Rape is a choice, death by complications of depression is not. Maybe if we had more people focused on treating the disease rather than condemning those who can no longer fight the disease, we would have a much higher survival rate/life expectancy associated with it.
I never my son died FROM suicide … I say he died BY suicide… Small changes in the word gives a different outlook on the situation. and yes DEPRESSION WAS THE CAUSE!
I agree with the viewpoint about depression. the fact that the term suicide gives people an easy way of sayin he was selfish I do not agree with that in my humble opinion people do not understand how bad depression really is and shame on you who say it was his fault etc. you are what I would call ignorant people who need to step back and look at the facts on depression before calling any type of judgement on your fellow human, maybe for him there was no other way out maybe he felt trapped who knows end of the day the only people who knows what was racing throo his mind was him, all I can say is “rest in peace Robin” thanks for all the laughs you supplied me and my family with take care and nanoo nanoo.
I disagree with your opinion, I mean I know how it is to suffer from depression, I had it the most time of my life, you can do a lot to fight it!
There are 12 aspects in life that, if not addressed, will lead you to depression, food is one of them. You are absolutely right about the carbs. But it doesn’t stop there. I’ve also been suicidal and had to be treated for it. We don’t know the source of Robin’s depression. Only he would be able to tell us. For us to be happy our life needs to be balanced: health, physical activity, relationships, spirituality, social life, creativity, finances, career, education, home environment, joy. When those categories in our lives are out balance our bodies get hurt through either depression and/or some type of sickness or disease.
We shouldn’t assume anything especially since Robin Williams isn’t here anymore to say his word.
Watch this when you wanna know more: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l75pKbXxcTM&list=UULwUd5KtYONsRJ3UAOojZ0w
depression kills….been there….done that….tried to kill myself at the lowest point in my life too. I never understood the power depression can and does have on a person. If you have not experienced it you can and never will understand it’s grip. Shame on those who don’t understand or even care to begin to understand. A family, children, wife and his MILLIONS of fans are grieving, keep your negative comment in your own little mind.
ROBIN WILLIAMS….R.I.P…and may your family find peace.
Anyone who says that it was the person fault then they have no understanding of the disease. I used to think it was the easy way out until the disease became part of my life. People who don’t understand are ignorant and should not make judgement on something they know nothing about.
This is the first time I have ever commented on a post that was written by someone I don’t know or a random post from the internet. I read this post and felt compelled to offer my appreciation for it.
I don’t know the author nor do I know Robin Williams, but I am a fan of both now thanks to the author of the post.
I personally don’t suffer from depression, thankfully, but I have friends who do. This post is so beautifully written and in my opinion, articulates perfectly the unknown of the disease that millions of people suffer from and is terribly misunderstood.
Thank you for your post and helping to shed some light!
Hey kim- you’re a moron.
“they die from Depression – an illness that kills millions each year” – are you suggesting that millions of people die from suicide every year? Statistics from http://www.suicide.org/interna.....stics.html and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide say that only around one million or fewer people die from suicide every year.
Other than that, I loved your article, thanks for bringing up a great point.
To those that suggested I’m ignorant in my earlier post I suggest you understand the implications of the act of suicide. Did you know if you commit suicide the chance of your children committing suicide goes up?! Do you know how many people will think it’s ok to do it now that so many people have sympathy for Robin Williams. My sympathy is there that he felt so desperate that he suffered but it can’t be there for the act of suicide itself because I wouldn’t want another person to feel it’s ok to give up on the fight. It is an exhausting, heart destroying fight but you just have to keep fighting. I’m angry at anyone that commits suicide and not specifically at mr Williams. I do wonder how many would have sympathy if it wasn’t Robin Williams?! What would you be saying if it was the likes of Paris Hilton or a footballer. Depression is a disease that can be cured.
Now that it’s come out that he had Parkinson’s I certainly do have more sympathy as my thoughts on euthanasia are a bit all over the place and I completely understand why you would want to die when your standard of life is going to change and it’s beyond your control. I also think there are many out there who clearly do have this and fight on micheal j fox being one of them and he deserves some credit for going on. I just hope that post like this do not give people the permission they are looking for to end it all because yes the thought ‘ well if he did it and people feel sorry for him then why shouldn’t I’ does happen and that is simply all I’m hoping to contradict is that one thought. Everyone does have the right to do with their life (yet how many drug users are criticised. Anyway different matter) as they please but please consider the implications of your actions especially if you have children and a partner. Please don’t let people think suicide is a reasonable reaction to depression.
Kara and Darnell,
Do either one of you suffer from depression or any other mental illness I do, I was diagnosed with BI-POLAR DISORDER…depressive episodes and manic episodes, On top of my illness, I have many other health issues. My dad died of a massive heart attack and on his birthday and Father’s Day, I go into a major depression and shut myself off from the world. I have thought of suicide. I now am getting help. If you don’t know how it feels to be depressed or know someone who suffers from depression, don’t comment they way you did. I found what you said a little offensive but you are entitled to your opinion as I am mine..
your wife is filled with wisdom & empathy-possibly the best qualities in a partner
Thanks for this great article, Tom. I’ve discussed this issue in my blog posted today at http://joyfulandfree.net/battle-cry and I completely agree with you. People die from depression. How interesting that we’ve both used the disease of cancer as reference! Its so true though, and time that the community at large understands that depression is an insidious and deadly disease. Thanks for sharing. For me, as a person living with depression every day, it means a lot.
This is such a tragedy. People seem to be defining and judging the actions of others with all we have, words. Our family just buried my 57 year old sister who, over the past few years, suffered deep deppresion and torment. The final cause of death is still not in and I’m not sure it matters in the end. I rarely speak of this topic because, by it’s very nature is controversial. I believe we’re talking about two different things here, cause and effect and we do need to make a distinction in your article. Your comparison to cancer where you write “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism.” The “actual cause” of death was pulmonary embolism brought on by cancer. In Mr. Williams case, the “actual cause” of death was suicide brought on by deppresion. Your comparison is very misleading and not very sound. Again, I want to say that this is a very tragic and misunderstood area. In the case of the embolism, there was no control or “choice.” In the case of suicide, the final act is regardless of our own feelings or experiences. The sufferer may not be in a state to be rational or is suffering too much to go on. I don’t believe any rational person believes that depression is a moral or “strong verses weak” illness. It is just this, a very real, tragic and, if not acknowledged and treated, fatal illness. If suicide was not a choice, people would be found dead all the time as in embolisms, heart attacks and strokes. It’s time we look closer at our own lives and our families, stop judging sufferers of any kind and lift people up in their own value. I have not walked in Mr. William’s shoes, nor can I see through anyone elses eyes.
[…] week las ik een artikel over het overlijden van Robin […]
Depressions is very hard to understand if you haven’t been there. My husband suffered from it and anxiety. It got toe point where he hardly left our bedroom. It was very hard to see him like that. Two years later and he still has bouts of anxiety but is functioning and involved. I never understood how he felt and honestly didn’t know HOW to help him! Its one of those things people need to learn how to help people through.
Many people with cancer either survive it or pass on. People suffer with depression for decades-the agonizing effects of depression are equally as devastating.
speaking as some one who not only was depressed but got over it on his own with out trying to kill him self i can only say that suicide is not some unavoidable symptom of depression, it is in fact a choice.
and my stance on it is the same no matter who it is, “if you are to weak to continue in this life, not matter the hardships, then you are to weak to be a member of this species, and as such our collective gene pool will likely be better off with out you.”
I have and always will be a fan of Robin, and my heart felt condolences to all those left with the burden of trying to move on.
Brilliant! Thank you for sharing.
Some interesting points, however, saying committing suicide is still insensitive and ruined the integrity of the article. Died by suicide would be a better way to phrase it.
Thank you for writing this. Thank you so much.
Very good analogy of cancer and depression. Suicide also has a negative connotation because we say the person ‘committed’ suicide. It implies that the person’s death was a crime and they should be punished for it. We need to remove these negative stigmas and focus on helping people who are suffering.
I wish the whole world could be exposed to this article. So very true and poignant. I used to be afflicted with depression and anxiety. I’m ever so grateful to the support of my husband and some amazing docotrs who helped me get on the right medications, the right path, and allowed me to heal. I am now depression free and have been off any meds for nearly 4 years. But suicide is not something that people aspire to die from, it’s something that people are pushed towards when mental illnesses are veiwed as fake and misunderstood rather than illnesses than need support, love, and attention. May Robin Williams death be a giant notice to the world that even when we’re smiling we can still be broken inside and need help.
Hi Tom, you make an important point about not criticising and stigmatising people with depression and those who attempt or commit suicide. I think it’s important to point out that there is a big difference between: depression is a significant contributing to suicidal ideation and behaviour; depression ‘causing’ suicide, suicide being a ‘symptom’ of depression, and people ‘dying of depression’. The first statement is the only one of the four that can be supported in fact. And this is not just a minor semantic difference. If you have a look at how Psychologists and mental health workers talk to sufferers about suicide and how they advise friends and family to talk about suicide, I doubt very much that the latter three statements would feature (I’ve not seen it). Also, please keep in mind that the vast majority of people with depression do not commit or attempt to commit suicide and many do not have more than fleeting suicidal thoughts. Addiction is also a very strong factor – over 50% of suicides are associated with drugs and alcohol. Gambling addiction also relates very highly to suicide. Yes – addiction and depression can be chicken / egg – you can see that we need to take care of over-simplifying things in a way that clouds this complexity. Creating additional anxiety and stigma for sufferers and loved ones would very likely be the consequence if we do what you advocate that we should do. Perhaps there’s an advantage to your position that I’m not seeing or there is evidence I’m not aware of and I’d be very happy to be corrected.
Robin Williams had early stages of Parkinson’s. Which in reality is not the early stages. Parkinson’s only appears physically and detected when 80% of a person’s dopamine is gone. Dopamine is one of your happy hormones so depression is a very real thing. He only found out about his Parkinson’s but he was suffering from Parkinson’s a lot longer than that. My father suffers from Parkinson’s and depression is a huge part of it. My only hope is that Parkinson’s awareness becomes as big as ALS awareness so we can finally find a cure for those who are suffering.
Although I do respect people profoundly, I have met many people that deemed themselves depressed. A number of trauma’s and events may cause them to believe so, but is it not only the constant belief of anxiety and heart ache that causes one to become depressed in the first place? Is it not only a state of mind? A person that needs to be helped and loved?
Well said! Best I’ve read yet on suicide from depression.
We must not forget that Robin Williams played the part of Dr Sayer in the “eveil”( the wake..?), in a psychiatric hospital where he probably learnt too much about the Parkinson desease. One can understand , when you know the effects of this degenerative frightening desease (a member of my family has got it) that for a depressive mind it can just be unbearable. ” When reality overtakes fiction… I’m sure you’re in Heaven Robin and I hope your family will understand what you suffered and the despair you were in to put an end to it.Wherever you are Robin, you’re still with us.
It is very hard for peiple who havnt suffered from depression to understand it it and to understand how if effects an individual from first hand experiance i can tell you its a very hars mental illness to deal with i personally know because i have dealt with it. it effects each individual differently. i am currently on medication. the doctors and tryng to find the best combination of medication for my treatment. depression isn’t something you choose to have and its not something you can just ignpre or push to the side id tried that and after several years of just ig.oreing it it came to a point i couldn’t handle it anymore thoughts startes through my head that were not pleasant at all i started having nightmares. about causeing harm to myself and others depression isn’t judt a cause of suicide it can also be the cause of murder. its not a easy subject to talk about and i don’t expect anyone to care or understand. the point of my post but for those who have been threw and are presently dealing with the mental ilness depression will most likely be the only ones to understand. praying for all those who have and are dealing with depression rest in peace robin williams and rest in peace to all those who lost their lives to mental illness. also a speacial prayer for my father in law who lost his life to depression we love and miss you richard rip 11/3/2010 beloved husband father and grandfathrr
I LOVE ROBIN WILLIAMS A WHOLE BUNCH BECAUSE HE IS MY FAVORITE MAN AND HE MIGHT LIKE IT IF I CALLED HIM BABE AND I FEEL LIKE I COULD JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS AND HE IS MY COOL AND HANDSOME LOOKING GUY AND I GIVE HIM LOTS OF LOVES AND HUGS AND KISSES AND IM ALWAYS NICE TO HIM AND I TAKE HIM EVERYWHERE I GO AND I MAKE THEM NOISES AT HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM OR IF I WANT TO FALL ASLEEP ON HIM AND IF HE HAD A VERY BAD SORE THROAT WHEN HE WAS SICK THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE AND ITS VERY VERY VERY VERY SAD THAT HE DIED BECAUSE HE WAS A FANTASTIC ACTOR BUT HES STILL WITH US BECAUSE I GOT HIS PICTURES IN MY BOOKS AND I LOVE HIS MOVIES AND HIS INTERVIEWS AND HIS SHOWS BECAUSE THEY ARE FANTASTIC AND I LOVE THOSE SILLY VOICES THAT HE DOES THEY MAKE ME WONNA LAUGH SO HARD BECAUSE THEY SOUND FANTASTIC AND EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THOSE SILLY VOICES THAT HE DOES THEY MAKE ME WONNA CRACK UP SO HARD AND IF I PUT ON SOME MUSIC HE WILL GO CRAZY AND DO A SILLY DANCE AND ID BE LAUGHING SO HARD AT HIM AND NO MATTER WHERE HE IS AT HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME IM SURE AND I BET HE IS WATCHING ME FROM THE SKY CHECKING TO SEE IF IM OKAY AND I AM OKAY BUT I GET SAD WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIM AND HE IS PATTING ME ON THE HEAD AND I BET NOTHING TASTE GOOD WHEN YOU HAVE A VERY BAD SORE THROAT AND I LOVE HIM ON HIS INTERVIEWS BECAUSE THEY ARE FANTASTIC AND HE WAS A FANTASTIC ACTOR AND COMEDIAN AND IM LAUGHING ABOUT THOSE SILLY VOICES THAT HE DOES CAUSE HE MAKES EVERYBODY LAUGH JUST LIKE HE MAKES ME LAUGH ON HIS INTERVIEWS AND IF I WATCH HIS MOVIES AND I THINK ABOUT HIM MAKES ME FEEL SAD CAUSE HE DIED MONICA GERBER
Thank you for putting this idea out so others can catch on. After a very close friend of mine allegedly committed suicide (I’m still not 100% convinced he wasnt murdered), the only way I could come to terms with his passing in a way that allowed me to move on with my own life was to recognize “suicide” as a terminal illness. Much like when a cancer patient’s body gives in from suffering it cannot bear , a suicide victim’s soul reaches a similar breaking point. We find comfort in knowing the cancer patient is no longer suffering, and we need to find the same comfort knowing that a person who has finally succumbed to suicide has been set free from unbearable pain that not only caused them to suffer immensely – but that they had to suffer in silence – because of the unique symptoms and social dynamics that emotionally isolate someone when they most need support.
[…] about depression/suicide from someone who’s actually been there, here and here and here and here and here are a few links I […]
its cruel people comment like that. i have mild depression because gave birth and plus bit of family problem. and i didnt realised until i got anxiety symptoms.family shows bit of symphaty.husband even worse doesnt even talk about it.being embarassad to tell about what i fear everyday when i have anxiety make me late seeking treatment.finally i can get off depression but anxiety stuck with me and takes its toll and lead me to sensitivity of central nervous system.i got fybromalgia, chronic muscle pain every single minute.went to physiologist,did brain training doesnt help.i cant re-wire my brain to normal,just like people have parkinson.every minute my body is pain n tight this make me depressed and lose fight to live,but thinking about my two kids help me a bit.for the society please ….your understanding n not look down on us already help us a lot,sometimes when there’s no acceptance you can make mental illness people feel more miserable. we dont really know what’s going on so please dont judge.depression,stress,anxiety sometimes its hard to distiguish.mind affect body,body affect mind and not all the people capable to overcome it.
One might think i have everything but im always sad.
I’ve never been thru 24 hrs without imagining a way of killing myself, since i was exactly 8 years. And doesn’t matter how much i tried to share it, it’s always some silly joke or, as they say, a desire of being noticed.
Every night, on an obvious and extremely boring world, i die for being there and every morning i am revived as an empty shell, outrageous to be alive.
Ive heard somewhere that Robin’s been hiding it for years, that only close friends knew about his condition. Same i heard about Heath Ledger.
The real stupid thing is…to say “it was his own fault” no one knows the exquisite pain of living while trying to convince yourself, you do have a good reason to. It’s a long intoxicating road in wich you might at anytime lose youself.