I’ve recently been on holiday. It was one of those caravan sites with a big swimming pool, evening entertainment (provided by people who failed to make it into the auditions for Britain’s Got Talent), and where, as part of the package deal, you get tiny people hidden in one of the caravan cupboards.
I had never been on one of these holidays before and have to admit that I wasn’t too sure what I’d make of the whole ‘tiny people in your caravan cupboards’ thing. It turns out that our tiny people proved to be a fountain of knowledge, having the answers for all those ‘first day of holiday’ questions we had, and also being helpful guides to the local amenities and sights. Unfortunately, despite all of their knowledge and wisdom, the only thing they ever bothered to share with us was how to get to the swimming pool.
And on those rare occasions that they didn’t lead us to the pool, I couldn’t shake the feeling that they were only taking us to places that THEY wanted to go.
(And that ride wasn’t even going round. Which was pretty freaking weird!)
Yes, the novelty of having these “amusing” little people in our caravan was short-lived. It soon became all too apparent that they were only in this for personal gain. Things soon went from bad to worse.
They drank our wine.
They hogged the TV.
And they had the most aggressively messed-up interpretation of ‘photo bombing’ I have ever come across!
In short, this became more of a holiday for THEM than it was for US, and I have written to the holiday village head office to demand a full refund.
The lesson to be learned is this – DON’T get sucked in by the clever sales jargon. It’s all one big scam. If you tick the box alongside the option “I would like the added tiny people for an extra cost of £48″, tiny people is what you get.
For life!
Haven’t been able to get rid of them ever since.
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Haha, you’re hilarious, Tom! Oooh, I love caravan holidays, I’m so jealous! And I love air-hockey! And entertainment people! Did you do the dances with your kids, Tom? Did you do Agadoo? Or the Court of King Caractacus? Didja? Didja, didja, didja?
Are Matilda and Theo holding hands in that TV photo? That is so adorable!
Aww, I’m so jealous! Wish I was young again.