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Last Week’s Tweets

  • My 1st ever translation is published today! Click link to sample Jack Samsonite in German #
  • The wait is over! 1st word of German OSMUW has now been unleashed upon the world…
    Translate it here #
  • "dick hurt Tail very bad pain. So right now I'm not really a tail- ache…"

    Jack Samsonite translated from German #

  • Ah, the old "tie Olympic torch to top of London Eye" trick. They obviously learned from my mistake. #

  • Observation of the day: You know in Heroes, (that tv series where people discover they have special powers), and… #
  • Future child: "What's a library?"
    Future adult: "Look it up in a dictionary"
    Future child: "What's a dictionary?!" #savelibraries #
  • Look what I got in the post! #
  • Only 999,494 to go until I have 1 million followers!

    Sooo close. #

  • As of today, the girl from #Altrincham craft market can also be found at notonthehighstreet! Well done @cupcakes4clara #
  • Observation of the day: Hot Pants aren't quite so "hot" when there's 3 inches of saggy buttock hanging out the… #
  • Dear @CostaCoffee PLEASE stop blending your iced coffees! We pay for medium but it shrinks to THIS… #
  • Observation of the Day: When cooking dinner, if you taste your food from a WOODEN spoon, it makes you feel like a… #
  • If you see me tweeting anything rude, offensive, or just downright annoying, it's best to assume my Twit account's been hacked.

    (it hasn't) #

  • I'm like some kind if guru or something.

    RT "@loltergeist: @tomclempson @sisterspooky always the voice of mature wisdom Tom." #

  • In Costa. Trying to write. But my old school chum @lukeconcannon is singing loudly (& beautifully) on the stereo & putting me off. Shh Luke! #
  • This is my brother, Ben. Not the best video, but he's still one of the best guitarists I've ever seen! #
  • I think @AidanBurleyMP just did more damage to his party than this pic will ever do #
  • Waiting up for Team GB at 12am. Not sure why. I'm predicting athletes + walking + flag. (Seen that before somewhere) #
  • Despite this picture, he isn't the one who comes across as the nazi of the night @AidanBurleyMP #
  • Only 16 mins Togo #
  • Why aren't they SPRINTING then POLE VAULTING up that hill? #DlowestAthletesEver #2012LondonOlympics #
  • So, who are these guys in white? #
  • Do you think Danny Boyle forced the Arctics drummer to wear that shell suit? #
  • What the holy hell…????!!!! #
  • Do you think Danny Boyle forced him to sing out if key? #
  • Did Elliot die?!! #
  • Just bring on Harry & his broom to light the thing already #OpeningCeremony #
  • Danny Boyle wanted the ceremony to start at night so it'd look good in the dark. Would look even better if my eyes were open! #pastbedtime #
  • Those copper petals are so damn multicultural #
  • The show ain't over till the old lady sings.

    Oh… She's WHO??!!!!! #

  • It's all about people of the world coming together.

    Well, it was until…

    "Just the men!" #

  • Observation of the Day: Slobbing out in front of the TV seems that bit more lazy when you're watching the planets… #
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