For me, the worst thing about getting older isn’t my constantly receding hairline (I always wanted a receding hailrine. I even used to draw a Christopher Lee widows peak on my head when I was younger); it isn’t going grey (I heard that you don’t lose hair once it greys); it isn’t even getting plump around the belly-button region (there’s always exercise!). No, for me, the worst thing about getting older, is getting boring. Christmas isn’t half as exciting. I hardly ever play kiss chase. And my childhood dream house is slowly being overshadowed by common sense, practicality and lack of money.
That is why I have decided to document the remaining memories of my childhood dreamhouse, before I forget them forever.
My childhood dream house was never a very practical one. It had all my favourite soft drinks on tap (and not those crappy pub taps, I mean cola, lemonade, tango, cream soda all coming out of a long row of kitchen taps). It had cinema screens all over the place (including in the garden), it had secret passages, secret stairways, secret gardens; a whole complex of treehouses (Ewok village style), and so much more that I’ve already forgotten. Another thing it had was a whole bunch of interconnected swimming pools. Split level rooftops would be connected by water slides, then a big chute would slip you down to a garden pool, which would also channel into an indoor pool.
Another thing I always wanted was a room completely lined with air cushioned velcro walls, so that you could go in and bounce around in a velcro suit, then hurl yourself at any wall/ceiling and stick there (would have to be done with a pull-me-down partner though). That would be fun!
And my favourite element of my childhood dream house, the only bit that I still would actually want today in a real life functioning house, is the super-duper staircase (as seen in my super-duper messy and confusing sketch). Basically, instead of just having boring stairs, you had the option of moving between the balconies of the many levels of the house. You could use slides, zip wires, tarzan ropes, fireman’s poles…
Why are none of these things incorporated into our everyday homes?! Why walk down when you can slide? Because houses are only ever designed by grown-ups, that’s why. And it’s about time things changed around here. Bring in more child architects I say! Who cares if the houses aren’t safe, or watertight, or possible? Fun is the issue here.
But unfortunately the childhood dream house is a bit of a catch 22, to allow it to slip away in the sands of time is just sad, but for an adult to ever actually own it? That’s even sadder. And weird. And a bit creepy (two words: Neverland Ranch). So I guess I’ll just have to look forward to growing old, getting my meals delivered to my door, having a bath tub with a door in the side, a bed that becomes a chair at the click of a button, and one of those super-duper chairlift things. (Getting old is beginning to sound cool!).
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If you have a spare hour, I highly recommend watching this lecture about achieving your childhood dreams. Inspirational. Or f’n annoying that someone is so bloody go-get-em. Depends on your mood that day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
You would think that as I live in a dreamworld about 80% of the day, then growing up the dream house I imagined for myself as an adult would’ve run along a similar vein as yours. It didn’t.
My dream home consisted of books. Lots of books. In every room. And a room of books just like in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.
I would also have many cats. There would be climbing frames for the cats everywhere. And all the cats would love me and not be unfriendly.
And I would have a big kitchen with my own personal chef.
So I have the lots of books, in every room, down. And I even have the lots of cats partly down (4 of them). But I have to wonder what was going on with me as a child if I had such an achievable dream house :/.
What a genius child you were! You had the foresight to have achievable dreams without even running the risk of the curse of the Neverland Ranch (although dozens of cats does conjur up some horror movie memories!). I also had the wall-to-wall books fantasy, with one of those ladders on wheels that is attached to the bookcase, plus my own private reading nook thrown in (see the top of the tower/turret in the swimming pool pic), which maybe I’ll go into in more detail on a future post. Not sure if my fantasy house was the result of too much time spent daydreaming and not enough playing, or possibly a side effect from my interesting reactions to food colouring!
Loving your work on the dream house, Clempson. But the thing that rings the most true about this whole thing (blog? ramblings? whatever you call it) is the reference to kiss chase. I spent EVERY playtime (not break time) at Primary School playing kiss chase. When you look back, it was all a bit weird. There came a specific tipping point in life when playing kiss chase was suddenly NOT acceptable. At all. But it was fun while it lasted…
I think your friend Emma above is my clone/soulmate (that sounds quite creepy) because I also dreamed of a book-lined house and many cats. And I also now have a book-lined room (almost, not quite floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall) and I have four cats. I think this many cats is acceptable if you also have a husband and kid and you’re not a wizened old spinster lady. I will shut up now. I should be preparing for school on Monday. Sigh.
yep this is pretty much how my childhood dream house would look like. i wanted to have an ice machine in the fridge (which i thought was the height of cool) and also an ice cream pump like in the ice cream vans right next to it. then there would be a library and of course a ladder on wheels to whiz around the shelves in.
there would be a fireman’s pole and a slide for the stairs and funny circus mirrors along the walls.
then there would be a paddling pool by the sofa to cool your feet while you watched telly.
i miss playing with Playdough and such. and fingerpainting and being VERY messy baking fairy cakes on Saturday mornings. this sort of thing isn’t done unless you have younger family members or your own kids.
I wanted small doors that you had to crawl through like Alice in Wonderland. Ditto on the beauty and the beast library. A water slide to my indoor pool with beach and palm trees. A helicopter pad and some Tracy Island features! A secret walled garden and forest Not much to ask really… I got the forest as an adult at least. Love you posts :0)