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Last Week’s Tweets

  • We’re all going to the zoo tomorrow, the zoo tomorrow, the zoo tomorrow (getting excited about @cupcakes4clara ‘s birthday outing tomorrow!) #
  • I just got told off by @cupcakes4clara for not joining in #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants and saying ‘Free Willy In My Pants’ #funnywife #
  • Am I too late with this? Because ‘One If Our Dinosaurs Is Missing In My Pants’ #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants #
  • Home Alone In My Pants (that wasn’t part of #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants i was just stating a fact) #
  • The Human Stain In My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants (yuck and sorry!) #
  • Snow White And The 7 Dwarves In My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants I’m addicted now! #
  • White Men Can’t Jump In My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants #
  • Pushing Tin In My Pants. Don’t know why. Just bored. Hurts a bit. #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants #
  • Herbie Goes Bananas In My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants #
  • Chasing Amy In My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants #
  • Herbie Fully Loaded In My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants (I’m annoying myself now!) #
  • Just got take-out frappe and breakfast all ready for a day of writing in the glorious sun. And now it’s cold and cloudy!!! Silly England. #
  • Wow, some people really do get off on the horn. Just saw a guy get honked all over for turning right! #
  • Hundreds of amazing animals at the zoo, and all she wants to do is play with the displays! #
  • Preparing for my appearance at @LatitudeFest on Sat (1.10pm authors arena) Never been before. Mostly expecting the unexpected. Excited tho! #
  • CONFESSIONS REQUIRED for new blog feature. Anything weighing on your conscience/funny bone/cringe-ometer DM/ email tomclempson(at) #
  • Let me know your confessiest confessions for new (anonymous) blog feature. Email tomclempson(at) Go on, do your worst! #
  • Almost ready to head down to @LatitudeFest tomorrow (I’m on Saturday). The whole thing just looks awesome. Can’t wait!!! #
  • On the train, travelling through beautiful, sunny postman pat land on my way down to @LatitudeFest (Saturday 13.10, Literary arena) #
  • Now passing through Chestertonfieldsville #
  • Ahhh, smells like I’ve reached Suffolk! #
  • Tut tut. Looks like rain! #
  • I’m on stage at @LatitudeFest in 20 minutes! Drinking beer in my DRESSING ROOM next to Louise Rennison! (little bit very scared)! #
  • I’m not 2 sure the ‘shackleton’ crowd were quite prepared for all my ‘nob-aches’! Louise R seems 2B doing well though! #
  • Had to bail on the offer to go for a drink with @LouiseRennison or miss the last train home. Gutted. #
  • How can I lose a chunk of my knuckle and not even notice?!! #coveredinblood #
  • On my way back from @LatitudeFest and NOW the sun decides to come out! #bloodytypical #
  • Thank you @callummccrae1 @GoldenAgeofGeek @empireofbooks @hannahmcmoon for yesterday’s #FF ! #
  • This is quite a nice train journey. If only there was some twat blaring some bangin tunes from his phone. Oh… Hang on…! #
  • Overheard a family on the train -
    Small Boy: “I spy with my little eye something beginning with S”
    Boys Stupid Mum: “Ceiling?” #
  • Overheard family on the train #2 -
    Small Boy: “We’re going to the zoo next week and we’re going to see lions and bears and Eskimos…” #
  • Still not home from Latitude (began my journey 7hrs ago) and I miss my little family! It’s the longest I’ve ever been away from them! #
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  1. Last Week’s Tweets
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