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Last Week’s Tweets

  • I’m looking for a really awesome audiobook to listen to whilst jogging. Any recommendations? (does not need to be jogging related!) #
  • If only Morgan Freeman did audiobooks! #
  • Round-up of last weeks tweets over at the blog #
  • “He has the personality of a ball of snot, the sense of humour of a cave man and I know for a fact he shat his pants last yr” #JackSamsonite #
  • “Whoever said religion’s the cause of 99% of all wars was clearly mistaken Hairstyle is obviously the predominant aggravator” #JackSamsonite #
  • The #JackSamsonite giveaway is officially closed! And the first ever signed copy of ‘One Seriously Messed-Up Week’ goes to… @lovereadingx #
  • “Girls are supposed to go for the sensitive type who isn’t afraid to cry right? Strange that they always seem to… #
  • I hold an INTERNATIONAL giveaway, and the randomly chosen winner happens to live 10 miles away! Not a northern conspiracy, I swear! #
  • Slept in! Instead of waking me, my 2yr old taught herself how to use iplayer on my phone & watched cbeebies FOR TWO HOURS! #
  • So many cool films I’m looking forward to seeing this year! (So many films I’ll probably have to wait to watch on DVD) #
  • “I had gone from being a normal person to a normal person who had the very real threat of having blood gushing… #
  • Prepare yourself for cute! (unless snuggly baby ducks scare you, in which case… Prepare yourself for pure terror!) #
  • I’m sat here, happily working hard on my laptop, typing away like a very good boy. And the two middle-age scrotes on the table opposite… #
  • …Won’t stop sneering and muttering about how “everyone has to take the Internet everywhere” and how I’m “pathetic. Sad and pathetic.”!!! #
  • And to make matters worse… They’re both wearing track suits! #
  • “The rest of my life ruined by the decision to fart 2 seconds too soon!” #JackSamsonite #
  • “Free periods mean you go up the field.
    Sunshine means you go up the field.
    Having someone out to kill you means… #
  • A month of giveaways! Go check it out at the blog #
  • Had a fab morning working on new project with @cupcakes4clara (very exciting!) #
  • You get back to ur car to find some1 parked 1mm away & you now have a crack in your bumper. Do you A: shrug & ignore it B: call insurance… #
  • … Or C) take an old ‘parking penalty’ sticker from your glove box, put a comical yet insulting note inside, then stick it to their window? #
  • Twitter? ‘Over capacity’?! do you also run those car parks that let people in when there’s no spaces, and the airlines that sell tickets… #
  • …on flights that are already overbooked? #
  • “Considering a fight with a Year 8 girl would probably be enough to put me in hospital I expect it would only take… #
  • Thanks to those who sponsored my 10k run today! I finished it without even dying! (well, maybe a little bit). #
  • Derek Jacobi. #
  • Orange juice – compare and contrast. #
  • “Choosing the correct clothing for the lower region is as important to a teenage boy as choosing the right body… #
  • Ouch. I ache. #
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