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Last Week’s Tweets

  • Sore throat. No throat sweets, so in desperation tried rum and proceded to hiccup like a drunk cartoon dog. Will stick to honey & lemon #
  • All my tweets from last week thrown together into one long nonsensical list of brain poo #
  • Apologies to any tweets that may have gone unreplied in the past week. I’m new here and only just discovered the @mentions thingy! #
  • You would think that somebody somewhere would be able to design a nappy that actually stopped poo from reaching the BACK OF THE NECK! #
  • I think I fancy Andy’s Mom/Mum in Toy Story 2. Is that weird? #
  • Want smart phone for mobile internet but am trapped in my old contract for another 3 months! Noooooooooo! #
  • Am about to attempt to make pancakes with no egg and no milk. I’ll let you know how it goes… #
  • Egg free, Milk free pancakes. The verdict… Not bad! And no, I didn’t just fry flour. #
  • Check out my RT – Someone has read my book! I like this guy. He is clearly very clever. #
  • P.S. My new blog post isn’t actually as pretentious as the title makes it sound! #
  • Laura was so preoccupied with her new laptop that I got to play Goldeneye all evening! But now I feel I wasted a chance to watch a good film #
  • Trying to write with wife, baby and poorly daughter in the house is not easy! #
  • Writing is pretty much impossible now that my daughter has comandeered my notepad and pen (though to be honest she’s not doing a bad job) #
  • Getting iPhone 4 tomorrow! Eager to find out what a ‘Backside Illumination Sensor’ is?!? Any ideas? #
  • Is it an alarm that goes off if you get too close to someone who believes the sun shines out of their botty-orifice? #
  • Whatever it is, this should be a big improvement on my current phone (which only cost me £4). #
  • TC: Did you do a wee or a poo?
    MC: Nope.
    TC: Off you get then.
    MC scratches bottom then reveals a brown dollop on end of finger.
    MC: Poopoo! #
  • 1am. Baby boy is fed. Throat is killing. Need to pee. Going to bed (after I’ve peed). Will dream of flying and zombies. #
  • #FF @serendipidy101 @PewterWolf13 @seecatwrite @ALRutter @asamum @midnightreads @sarahsreviews some of these guys are odd. Follow them! #
  • #FF @WondrousReads @cupcakes4clara @FictionThirst @atombooks also definitely worth a follow #
  • Toms Top Tip for Today: If a horde of schoolkids are passing you as you get out of your car try not to lose your balance and fall back in. #
  • I am now tweeting from my brand-new iphone 4! (This very special – I don’t normally own anything flash or fancy) #
  • I’m a bit disappointed that it doesn’t have fold out scissors or one of those tools to get stones out of horses feet hoof things! #
  • Toms Top Tip for Today: If you leave it to dry out it is actually possible to polish a turd. You only end up with shiny poo though. #
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  1. Last week’s Tweets